thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
