I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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