She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
