Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
