brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
