you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
