I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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