And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
