gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
