He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
