Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
