Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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