you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
