everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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