it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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