i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize