She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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