If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
