There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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