Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize