my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I need a beard to bite.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
