my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
