I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize