Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
