SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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