Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
