I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
