How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
