She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
