i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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