I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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