i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
