there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dick very happy bro
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
