Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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