hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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