having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
