Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
