How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
