i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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