And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Watching her eat just hurts me
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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