I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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