last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
