The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
