Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
