They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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