You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
