She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
