a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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