his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
