I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
