and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize