NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
