How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you will always have a special place in my vag
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
