On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
