i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
