Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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