so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
