Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
